


A Glint of White

by glitteratii



Series: Monochrome [1]
Category: D.Gray-man, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Allen Walker is a Noah, Allen is named Ellen, Allen was born female, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clan of Noah - Freeform, Female Allen Walker, Genderbending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Miscarriage, Multi, One-sided Allen Walker/Remus Lupin, Out of Character, Past Allen Walker/Remus Lupin, PokerPair (D.Gray-Man)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24143707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteratii/pseuds/glitteratii
Summary: Ellen Walker used to dream of saving the world, but dreams don't always come true. She failed the Wizarding World in the first war, but maybe she can make it right this time around. Book 1 of the Monochrome Series.
Relationships: Allen Walker & Albus Dumbledore, Allen Walker & Harry Potter, Allen Walker & Sirius Black, Allen Walker/Remus Lupin (past), Tyki Mikk/Allen Walker
Series: Monochrome [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742332
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Dark nails tapped rhythmically against the bar countertop. The young woman let out a deep sigh as she leaned against the counter and scanned the room once more. "Honestly," she muttered to herself, "you'd think he'd have the courtesy to show up on time."

"I think you will find that I am perfectly on time, dear Ellen."

Ellen whipped around with a wry grin on her face. She jumped down from the towering bar-stool quickly and wrapped the man in a tight hug. It was like a greeting between old friends, only made unusual by their vast difference in appearances. "You've gotten old, Albus." grinned Ellen as he settled down next to her.

He laughed deeply, his old face appearing years younger for just a moment. "I have lived a very long life. Unlike yourself, I catch myself growing older with each year."

She beamed and signaled the bartender. "Two butterbeers Tom!" Turning back to Albus, the smile fell from her face. "Now tell me, why did you call me here? I haven't really been…connected to the wizarding world in a long time."

Albus cut straight to the chase. "Voldemort has returned."

"I thought he was dead."

"Yes, that is what people believe." He took a deep sip of his drink. "But he has returned. Last summer he lured young Harry Potter to a graveyard and performed a ritual in order to acquire a new body."

"So why am I here?" asked Ellen. "Shouldn't the Ministry be handling this?"

"Cornelius refuses to believe that he is back and has taken to slandering myself and Mr. Potter at every opportunity. You'll find no help from the Ministry at this time."

Ellen sighed deeply. "Well, shit. That's why I'm here, isn't it? You're assembling the Order again?"

"What is left of it." He said. The two sat in silence for several minutes, dwelling over the state of their world.

"I don't really have much of a choice, now do I?" Ellen sighed and threw back the rest of her drink. "Every time I think I'm finally out of the fire, something just has to pull me right back in."

"I won't force you to help us, but we need someone like you in the dark times that are to come."

"Ha!" Her laugh was a sharp, bitter one. "Albus, it's dangerous for me to be around people, you know that. Is it really worth the risk to you? If they find out where I am, they'll do whatever it takes to get me again. I can't have that kind of guilt on my shoulders again. Not after..."

"They'll still be out there even if you choose not to help us." Albus spoke softly. "You can choose to do what is right instead of what is easy."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" He raised a single eyebrow at her, reminiscent of the boy he once was. "One more chance. That's all you're getting from me."

"Of course it is, dear Ellen. Now, take my arm." She sighed once more but firmly gripped onto his forearm with one hand and held her bag tightly in the other. "You remember how apparition works?"

"Yes, I do. Let's go before I change my mind." Ellen said. The old man twinkled at her once more before they disappeared with a loud crack.

* * *

The pair landed in front of a series of townhouses. Ellen looked over at him questioningly at the sight of them. "I think you will find this clears a few things up." Albus said lightly, handing her a worn piece of paper.  
  


_The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.  
  
_

When she looked back up, another home had appeared between numbers 11 and 13. "The Fidelius charm, really?"

"It is the only sure way to ensure that we go undetected." Albus answered firmly, leading the way into the home. She followed him into the building, taking in the peeling wallpaper and threadbare carpet of the main floor.

"This place is horrendous." She muttered. Her companion simply ignored her and kept walking deeper into the house. As they got continued on, she could hear the faint noise of people talking from upstairs. Albus led her into what appeared to be the kitchen. Standing by the stove was an older woman with bright ginger hair. Her face was round and kind, but most of all, it was familiar.

Ellen slowly set her bags down before she could drop them. She swallowed thickly. "Molly?"

Molly turned around and immediately dropped the spoon she had been stirring with. "Ellen?" she said, "But...how?"

She smiled tightly, resisting the urge to step away when the older woman approached her.

"You haven't aged a day." Molly whispered in disbelief, cradling Ellen's face in her hands as if she didn't believe that the girl was real.

"I told you that the Noah don't age. You didn't believe me, did you?"

"It seemed so impossible." the woman said, "And when you disappeared, we thought the worst. Ellen, where have you been?"

"America, mostly. Turns out that the lot of them aren't so terrible once you get to know them."

Molly squeezed her shoulders tightly in a semblance of an embrace before pulling away. "Everyone will be so happy to see you, dear."

"Who all is left?"

"We didn't lose many after what happened with James and Lily. The war was over."

Ellen sat down at the table, propping her booted feet up despite Molly's protests. "Albus, when are we having the next meeting? I would rather not have to explain my existence to everyone individually."

"I believe that we will be gathering later tonight once dinner has ended. Sadly, I cannot be there, there are things at Hogwarts that require my immediate attention." With that, he began to walk out of the kitchen. Once he was in the doorway he turned back to Ellen. "You must remember that the game is much different now. You will have to adapt."

Ellen waved her hand at him and he left at the obvious dismissal. She and Molly continued to chat amiably for the next half hour, filling each other in on what had happened since they had last seen each other.

Things had calmed down after the war was over. Arrests were made, some people managed to escape by claiming they were Imperiused, but there was justice for the most part. Until recently there had been peace in the wizarding world that Ellen had never experienced. People began to relax once more and started families. Everything had been good and bright until Harry Potter had started his years at Hogwarts.

Molly told her about all of the adventures Harry and his friends had gotten into. The children she described were brave, but willing to do what was right above all else. She spoke about them as if they were all her own and it was easy to see she loved them so.

Not everything was good and bright though.

Peter was a traitor. Sirius had been arrested. Framed. Thrown into Azkaban without a trial. He'd been forced to endure years surrounded by those awful dementors until he'd escaped. Now he was forced into hiding in the childhood home he'd been so desperate to escape and never return to.

In return, Ellen wove tales of her adventures in America, the people she had met and the different types of magic that she had seen. She spoke of adventure. She told tales of the Muggle family who had taken her in for years once she'd arrived in New York City. Ellen had been everywhere and nowhere for the past fifteen years.

She meant to go on, but as she was speaking something beautiful happened. The door slowly creaked open as Sirius Black poked his head into the room. It was as if time stopped and all Ellen could do in that frozen moment was run to him.

They embraced each other tightly, holding on as if the moment they let go the other would disappear before their eyes. It was one of those moments where Ellen desperately wished she could cry.

Her eyes ran over every feature of his like she could burn it into her mind. Her friend looked so much older, but so much was still the same. He still had the long, black hair she had loved playing with so much and his eyes still held a mischievous glimmer at the edges.

"Paddy," she murmured against his neck. "I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

The man simply gripped her tighter, trying to convey the emotions he couldn't bring himself to speak aloud just yet. There was damage that had been done. Damage that would possibly never be healed, but for a few short moments none of that mattered because they were together again.

Ellen slowly let go of him as their hug finally ended. She looked back at Molly with everything she wanted written across her face. And bless her, the older woman simply smiled and walked back over to the pot where a spoon had been steadily stirring to give them the privacy that they needed.

She let him lead her over to the table with a simple nudge. She'd follow him to the ends of the earth in that moment, but the table would have to do. They sat quietly with their hands grasped together tightly on the surface of the table and just took in each other's presence. When they began to speak it was just as quiet and so unlike the usually boisterous friends. Murmured words and whispered apologies raced from their lips as they unloaded everything about the past fifteen years. Every heartbreak, every sorrow, every silver lining that they had found.

Every word he spoke about his time in Azkaban managed to pierce her heart like a dagger and twist. Here was a man wearing her Paddy's face and speaking with his voice, but he wasn't really her Padfoot anymore. The effortless joy that he once radiated was gone. In his place was a trapped man with regret carving lines into his once beautiful face.

The Order had taken a creature that was meant to be free as the wind and shackled him down to the earth, forbidding him to even dream of the sky.

There was anger in her heart at them. It was anger that was misplaced and certainly didn't belong, but it was there, nonetheless. It was only the promise she had made and the man sitting in front of her that kept Ellen from fleeing once more. She'd stay, if only for them.

It didn't stay tense. There were other occupants in the house, and it became clear that they wouldn't be keeping out of the way for very long. It was a set of twins in particular that set them off.

They must have just learned to Apparate with how they were constantly popping in and out of the room. There was a childlike glee on their faces that could only result from it still being so new and shiny to them. At first they scared Ellen. She'd gone so long without dealing with wizards that the sound was startling and their appearance even more so.

If it hadn't been for Molly informing her that the devils were a part of her brood, Ellen swore they could be Fabian and Gideon Prewett reincarnated.

She couldn't do more than stare as they joked between themselves, constantly pestering their mother to the point where the poor woman almost snapped only to disappear before she could get her hands on them. Sirius was more than entertained watching the spectacle unfold. It was likely the most entertainment that he would get while stuck in the grim old house.

Slowly but surely more of them began to trickle into the room as the smell of stew filled the air and wafted out of the kitchen. If there was any true constant in life, it was that teenagers were insatiable and would always gather wherever the food was.

They stuck to their own little group at the end of the table at first, whispering amongst themselves. Ellen could hear them clear as day as they wondered who she was and what she was doing there. She almost smiled at that. It was easy to forget just how young she must look to those that didn't know her.

Eventually their whispers died down as they upgraded to just straight up staring at her. Ellen sighed and finally turned away from Sirius, never letting go of his hands. "Is there something on my face?"

"Who are you?" The only non-ginger one blurted out, her bushy hair practically shaking with her words.

"My name is Ellen," She said. "I'm here for the Order meeting."

The boy that wasn't a twin frowned at her. "They're letting you sit in on the meeting?"

"Well, yes. I am a member after all."

"How?" asked one of the twins. "You look like you're our age. Mum won't even let us in with the Order!"

Ellen hesitated for a moment before answering honestly. "I joined back when it was originally formed. I left around the time the war was ending, but it's back and so am I."

"But that was years ago!" the bushy haired witch said. "It isn't possible that you were even old enough to fight back then."

"I'm…I'm a Noah," said Ellen, "One of the few perks is that I look much, much younger than I actually am."

"Aren't Noah labelled XXXX-Class Creatures?"

"Yes, and werewolves are labelled XXXXX, but that doesn't make them any less human. I'm just someone that pulled an unlucky hand in life. That doesn't make me a monster."

Curly still looked curious. "But how did you-"

"Some questions are a little too personal for the dinner table, don't you think?" Ellen smiled tightly. "I'll be happy to answer whatever your little heart desires later, but for right now I want to have a hot meal and catch up with a dear friend because it's been so long. Is that okay with you?"

The girl nodded, looking thoroughly chastised. Satisfaction filled her as Ellen turned back to Sirius and attempted to pick up where they left off. After all, she did need to tell him how they had to get the cow back down the stairs.

The rest of the meal continued in a much calmer manner. The teens left her and Sirius alone, preferring to speak with each other. Ellen could still hear them wondering, but at least they had the courtesy of keeping their questions to themselves for the time being.

It wasn't too long before all of the plates were clean and their bellies were full. Molly began to usher all of the children out of the room so that she could prepare it for the Order meeting. There was so much going on that Ellen decided just to sit back and watch. It was good entertainment.

Molly sighed in the deep-suffering way only a mother could sigh once everything was clean, turning back to Ellen with such a disappointed look in her eyes. "They were just curious. Hermione is a very bright girl, she only wanted to know more about you."

"I'll answer her questions eventually, Molly. It's just…I only just arrived and the questions are already starting," said Ellen. "If this is what it's going to be like, you're all going to make me regret leaving my cozy Muggle apartment."

"You missed the action, admit it," said Sirius, tugging on a piece of her hair.

She laughed and swatted his hand away. "Don't be annoying. Of course I did. But the action is also risky for me. What if I bring too much attention to myself and they find me? I don't want to put any of you in that kind of danger."

"Still not wanting to see your lovely Clan?"

"I left them on a smoking battlefield after I'd just killed their leader. I betrayed them. Something tells me it won't be the friendliest of reunions."

"They could have changed, you know," Molly said from her place at the stove. "You've admitted that you're different, who's to say that they aren't as well?"

Ellen slammed her black, scaled hand down on the table, causing the other two to jump. "I'm not going to entertain this. I'm not risking your lives on a 'what if' scenario!" She stood up quickly from the table, the talons on her left hand scraping the wood. "Now. I'm going to take my things upstairs and find a spare room. I'll take my time unpacking and when the rest of the Order has arrived you can come find me."

With that said, Ellen moved from the table and grabbed her bags from where they were leaning against the wall. She rushed out of the kitchen ignoring Sirius's calls to wait up as she practically ran up the stairs. It might have been a slight overreaction on her part, but Ellen wouldn't admit that to anyone. Not when what they were suggesting could end their lives.

She just couldn't understand why they didn't get that.

It wasn't the first time she'd had that argument with Molly or even with Sirius. To them, Ellen was the friendly neighborhood Noah. She fought with them in wars and sat at their dinner table to tell jokes and trade stories. They'd never seen a Noah in action, not of them had ever seen a man walk on air as if it was solid ground. They'd never seen a girl with an angel's face and a demon's eyes. Never seen someone control people's limbs as if they were puppets and he was the puppeteer.

They'd never seen a piano and thought of the pure devastation it could cause.

There was an evil that came with that Clan of Noah. Unless the Clan was completely on her side, it wasn't something that she was willing to risk.

That was the absolute truth yet it still didn't stop her heart from aching with pure longing. For just a moment she allowed herself to imagine what it could be like. Ellen could feel it. The warmth, the love, everything that she dreamed of and more.

She could have Joyd again… No. She couldn't let herself go down that rabbit hole again.

There was nothing more that she wanted in the world to be reunited with her family, but good things don't happen to foolish exorcists that meddle with Noah. She'd learned that lesson the hard way.

* * *

She dragged her bags down the hallway with a groan. Why had she decided to rush out of the room without even asking if there were empty rooms on that floor? Going back now would be admitting defeat, but she didn't want to spend the next hour peeking into doorways.

The faint sound of conversation caught her attention as she continued down the hall. Ellen frowned and hefted her bags up, quickly moving towards the noise. As she got closer to one of the cleaner looking doors, she was able to make out a few voices. It sounded like the children from dinner.

Ellen quietly set her things down outside the door and approached it. She knocked on it quickly before she lost her nerve, the purple gem on her left hand glinting in the low light. "Um, hello?"

The door opened just a crack as the ginger girl stuck her head out into the hallway. Her face brightened considerably when she saw who was there and she stepped back to open the door completely. "Hi! Your name is Ellen, right? Come on in."

She felt herself relax a bit as she followed the ginger girl into the room. The rest of the teens were sitting in a circle on the ground, some kind of card game scattered all around them. One of the twins inched over to make room for her and patted the ground next to him.

Ellen smiled to herself and walked over, making herself as comfortable as one can be on the ground. "So, what do you lot do for fun around here."

"There's not much to do," the non-twin sighed. "Mum's had us cleaning out doxy infestations for days. I think my hand's about to fall off!"

"I can imagine. Sirius used to tell us horror stories about this place. I can't believe the Order managed to get him to come back here!" laughed Ellen.

"So you know Sirius? Like for real?"

"Mhmm. We go way back. He and the rest of that group took me under their wing back when the Order was first formed. I suspect he's always had a soft spot for misunderstood yet highly dangerous creatures."

The curly haired girl leaned forward. "You were really there then? Back in the first war?"

Ellen sighed and leaned back on her hands, wincing at the scraping sound her talons made against the aging hardwood floor. There were so many ways to answer her, yet only the truth really felt right. "I was. At first it was just because Albus is my friend and he asked me to, but eventually it was more than that. I loved the friends I had made, and I wanted to protect them."

It must have been the right answer because the girl nodded in satisfaction and leaned away from her. Ellen was relieved in a way that she shouldn't have been. She shouldn't be caring about the approval of a teenage girl, yet here she was.

"I have to admit; I didn't just come by to talk," said Ellen with a soft smile. "I was hoping that one of you could maybe show me to a spare room? I'll be here for a couple of weeks at the very least and it would be for the best if I could get settled before the meeting starts."

Curly met the other's eyes before nodding and pulling herself up off of the floor. "There aren't a lot of rooms to sleep in so most of us have been sharing, but there's a sitting room further down if you don't mind moving things around."

"Anything is good at this point. I had to take an international portkey to get here, I'm exhausted," Ellen laughed and took the offered hand to pull herself off the ground. She followed Curly out of the room, quickly waving goodbye to the others as she grabbed her bags.

The aforementioned room was only a couple of doors down and it wasn't in as bad of shape as Ellen was expecting it to be. There were a few dust-covered pieces of furniture and she could hear all of the doxies in the curtains, but that was nothing that couldn't be fixed with some of the spells she had in her arsenal.

She set her bags down and pulled her wand out from where she had stuck it in her boot. It took a couple of vanishing charms to get rid of everything but a spare sofa and wardrobe. She could at least use those.

Suddenly she was feeling a bit mischievous as she turned back to Curly with a grin. "What do you think about learning something cool?"

Curly's eyes widened and she nodded quickly, looking almost afraid to speak. Ellen motioned for her to come closer as she adjusted her grip on her wand. "Okay, so this is something I learned from a housewife back in…1820? Somewhere around that time. Brilliant woman, sadly trapped by the time she was born in. The incantation is Mundomius and you just need to flick it like so, just a bit sharper than Scourgify. It's all about intent with this spell, you've got to focus on just the room, or you'll end up cleaning the whole block in one go."

She giggled at the young witch's eager nod and flicked her wand sharply. "Mundomius!"

The room started to change before their very eyes. The thick layer of dust that had enveloped the room seemed like it was melting away, forming a ball in the center of the room. The aged wallpaper and carpet were much more colorful than they had been before and the grime that had crusted on the windows was yanked away, letting the dim light of twilight into the room. The ball quickly flew at them as it seemed like it was sucked into the tip of Ellen's wand.

Every bit of dirt had simply disappeared, leaving the place looking like it had never been as severely neglected as it was.

"That was amazing…" Curly said in awe as she ran her hands along the clean walls. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Magic used to be different. Back before it was all carefully regulated by the Ministry there were people that would simply invent a spell to do whatever they needed. Then they'd pass it on to their children and their children's children, and so on." explained Ellen. "So much has been lost to the winds of time. I'm simply fortunate enough to stay…untouched by that."

Curly just stared at her, but Ellen could recognize that bright look anywhere. She smiled shyly at the girl. "You know, I could teach you some of it? If you're interested, of course."

"Yes!" Curly blurted out, flushing at how quickly she'd answered. "I would really like that Ellen."

"You've got to do something for me first."

"What is it?"

Ellen laughed and bumped her shoulder against the girl's lightly. "Tell me your name, silly girl. None of you have introduced yourselves yet."

"Hermione," The girl laughed. "Hermione Granger."

"Shakespeare? Nice touch," Ellen said, "You want to stick around while I do some conjuring? It might take me a bit so you can go grab the others if you'd like."

Hermione nodded and rushed out of the room without another word. She laughed to herself; if only to be so young and easily excited again.

Conjuring was a tricky bit of magic that Ellen felt like she never had enough practice with. She took her time with the room trying to make it perfect. The last thing she wanted was a spring sticking into her back because she wanted to be lazy with her wand movements.

At some point during her conjuration Hermione had arrived with the others. Ellen could distantly hear them whispering amongst themselves as she conjured, but she couldn't spare the extra attention to actually decipher what it was that they were saying.

They were teenagers, it couldn't be that important anyways.

She frowned in concentration as she started to put the finishing touches on everything. A couple of pillows on top of the bed, some curtains to make the windows look less drab. She even enlarged the light fixture so that the group of chattering doxies could have a place to rest.

The furniture that she'd saved from the room would have to stay the way that it was because that much magic was exhausting. Ellen collapsed on her newly conjured bed with a groan, not even lifting her head to motion for the others to come inside.

They hesitated in the doorway, looking up at the doxies in concern. Ellen groaned again. "I promise you they won't bother you with me in here. They're pretty friendly to Noah."

Finally the three of them made their way into the room, gingerly sitting on the edge of the sofa Ellen had kept as if they weren't sure it was okay to make themselves comfortable yet. She rolled over to stare at them, short reddish-brown hair falling all over her face.

"C'mon, I know you've got more questions. Get the introductions over with and ask away," said Ellen, shoving her hair out of the way.

Cu–no–Hermione quickly introduced the others as Ron and Ginny Weasley, informing her that the set of twins were named Fred and George. Ellen nodded and squinted over at them. "You're not a Weasley. What are you? Girlfriend, friend, distant relative, irritated neighbor?"

Hermione flushed a bright red. "I'm just a friend! It's safer to be here than at home for right now, that's all."

"How old are you?" Ron blurted out before anyone could say anything else.

She laughed and rolled up onto her stomach. "I was born around 1787 so that makes me…208? 209 by the end of December, but once you get to be my age you kind of stop counting."

"Are you going to fight with the Order?" asked Ginny.

"I assume that's why Albus asked me to come help. I never really know with him."

Ginny tilted her head to the side. "So you're friends with the Headmaster too?"

"Absolutely," said Ellen. "I've known Albus since he was barely more than a toddler. He's been my closest friend and confidant for many years. There are very few that I've been able to say that I trust with my life completely and he's one of them."

"Where are the other Noah? Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them says that there is half a dozen of you that are still alive," said Hermione quickly. "You're here, where are the others?"

Ellen sighed and stared down at her mismatched hands. "I can't really answer that. We didn't leave off on the best of terms and I've been trying to avoid them ever since. If I had to guess, they're probably in Europe or Asia. I think Jasdevi was heading to North America last time I spoke to them, but that was in the early 1800's. All I know is that I'm here," She laughed to herself. "Shouldn't have told Newt any of this, wouldn't have if I'd known the jerk was going to publish everything. But I've always been a sucker for curly haired men that aren't good for me."

Ginny opened her mouth to say something when a loud crack interrupted her. The twins that had been suspiciously quiet since lunch landed right on top of Ron.

"Bloody hell!" he hissed, shoving them off. "You couldn't land anywhere else?"

"You see, dearest brother o'mine-" One started

"-our lovely guest has redecorated," The other one continued "So how could we know-"

"-where to land?" The first one grinned mischievously.

Ellen rubbed the bridge of her nose, the twin-speak was reminding her of Jasdevi in the most irritating of ways. "Is there something important or did you come here just to annoy your brother?"

"Mum told us to tell you-"

"-that the Order meeting is about to start."

She sighed in resignation and rolled off her bed. "Alright, alright. C'mon, everyone out. As lovely as you all seem to be, we aren't quite at the point where I'm okay with you lurking around in my room alone."

The twins disappeared with another loud crack as she ushered the others out, deftly locking her door behind her. Ellen smiled and waved at the remaining three as she all but sprinted down the stairs. She considered sliding down the banister for a moment but decided that Molly might cook her for dinner if she pulled a stunt like that on her first day back.

Loud voices could be heard from the kitchen and when she finally shoved the door open and entered, she was greeted by a decent group of people. There were several faces that she recognized, even though they now showed the passage of time. Some unknown faces stared back at her though, and she grinned sheepishly. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly ducked as a bright red spell flew at her. She popped back up, glaring at the wizard at the end of the table. "Honestly Alastor, that's getting a bit old."

"You've got to remain vigilant," He replied gruffly, ignoring the way she stuck her tongue out at him.

Ellen quickly sat down next to a young witch with lilac hair. "Ellen Walker, nice to meet you."

"Nymphadora Tonks. Call me Tonks," Tonks winked at her. "I've heard a bit about you, Mad-Eye over there never shut up about how good a duelist you were when he was training us."

"I knew you cared Alastor!" she called down the table, cackling at his eye roll. "I'm guessing you're new to the Order?"

"Finished my Auror training last year and when Albus Dumbledore asked, I couldn't say no," said Tonks. "It's absolute rubbish what the Ministry is saying about him, he's the greatest wizard I've ever met."

Ellen smiled softly. "He's always had that kind of effect on people. Molly?" she said, "Are we waiting on anyone or can we go ahead and get started?"

"Remus should be here in just a few-" Before Molly could finish her sentence, the man in question appeared with a loud crack.

She couldn't help the quick intake of breath at seeing him again. Remus looked tired, more tired than he'd ever looked before. His clothing was threadbare and his face showing fine lines of worry. Their eyes met for just a second, his widening in shock before he turned away from her without a word.

That stung. Ellen definitely deserved it, but it still stung.

She looked down the table at Sirius in desperation, but all he did was shake his head and turn away from her as well.

Fine. They could ignore it for now, but they'd have to talk about it eventually. She'd have to own up to what she had done and what she had failed to do. All Ellen could hope for was that Remus could find it in his wonderful, kind heart to forgive her for the terrible hurt she'd caused.

However, the Order did not wait for emotional crises to be over. Kingsley had started the meeting while she was dealing with her feelings and was mid-sentence when Ellen finally tuned in. "…we will be retrieving Potter from his relatives tomorrow night. Tonks, have you set up the diversion?"

The witch snorted. "The muggles think that they're going to an award ceremony for the best kept lawn in England. We're in the clear."

Kingsley nodded solemnly. "I want Tonks in front of Potter, Moody we need you keeping up the rear. Lupin will fly below and the rest of us will circle back to ensure we aren't followed."

He continued on. "The Ministry has continued to slander both Potter and Dumbledore. Luckily Dumbledore able to secure a trial for Potter's underage use of magic in six days. Anything else we need to cover?"

Mundungus Fletcher spoke up, looking at Ellen cautiously. "Who's the bird?"

"I'm Ellen Walker, the Fourteenth Child of Noah," said Ellen. "I fought with the Order before and I'm here to fight again."

Several of them looked like they wanted to say something, anything, but the veteran members of the Order just shook their heads. They knew what Ellen could do and where her loyalties lied. That was enough for them. Kingsley looked between them and shook his head. "If that's all, then I believe that we're done here. We meet here again tomorrow by at least 7 p.m. to retrieve Potter."

People nodded and quickly began to Apparate out of the room now that the meeting was finished. A few of them lingered to speak to Molly about some plans, but they did not stay too long. Before they knew it, it was just Ellen and the remaining Marauders sitting in the kitchen.

Sirius stood and patted Remus on the shoulder, only glancing back at Ellen before he too walked out to give them the privacy that they needed.

* * *

The tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Ellen wanted to speak, to explain herself and her actions but it felt like her tongue was made of lead.

"Why," asked Remus. "Why did you go?"

There it was. The question that had haunted her for the past fifteen years.

"I-I was scared, Remus," said Ellen. "I was terrified. One moment we were all together and then you were infiltrating Greyback's pack. Sirius was acting strange. Peter was disappearing. Lily and James were talking about going into hiding. I've already watched all of my friends die before. I didn't want to watch you die too."

"Leaving wasn't the answer, Ellen. We all needed you. I-" Remus's voice broke with emotion. "I needed you and you just disappeared like none of it mattered to you."

He stared down at the table with a heartbreakingly blank look on his face. "Did any of it matter to you? Was it ever real?"

"Of course it was real!" Ellen said, desperately wanted to grab his hand. "Remus, please, look at me – Remus!"

Remus finally met her eyes, his own glassy with emotion. Her heart clenched in her chest. "Please don't sit here and think it wasn't real. Every moment was real. Every feeling was real. I left because of what's wrong with me, not because of you. It was never because of you."

She moved closer to him, slowly raising a hand up to cup his cheek. She hesitated for a moment before gently laying her hand on his face, her thumb caressing his cheek in an achingly familiar motion. Remus's shoulders slumped as all of the fight in him left at once. In its place was just pure exhaustion.

He'd never looked that tired before. Not even during the war when the world felt like it was going to end. Instead, it looked like it ended up resting on his shoulders.

He leaned in slowly, resting his forehead against hers. "I need to hear it Ellen. I need you to say it."

"I…I loved you, Remus," said Ellen. "I loved you with all that I had to give."

"I wish...You look so young to me now," said Remus "You said this would happen but I didn't believe it. Could it ever be as it was? We can't go back, can we?"

"Oh, Moony…" Ellen sighed and brought her clawed hand to rest on his other cheek. "I would like to. I really would."

Remus chuckled and pulled away; his eyes sad. "There's a 'but' coming, isn't there?"

His eyes were yellow. They were always yellow. Not the gold that her heart longed for, but instead a shallow imitation of what was once hers. "I need time, hell, we both need time to think about everything. This is all so much and so fast. I know that I don't deserve it, but can you give me that much?"

"I waited fifteen years to hear that answer, what's a few more weeks?" Remus smiled. "You can have as much time as you need."

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, just the barest brush of his lips against her skin. "Go get some rest. You need it."

Then Remus was gone, and Ellen was left alone in the kitchen with nothing but the sound of her own regrets roaring in her ear like a never-ending waterfall. Remus was good. He was kind and had treated her with a kindness that she hadn't known for so many years. She gently rested her head in her hands, unable to push the image of beautiful, warm golden eyes out of her mind. It was hard to want the moon when she once had all of the stars in the sky.

What was she doing here?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

* * *

Ellen simply sat there on her conjured bed, staring at the peeling gray wallpaper. It had taken her a decent bit of time to finally pull herself up from the kitchen table and make her way back to her room, ignoring the concerned looks that Molly gave her when she came back in. Everything felt like it was happening so fast. She'd forgotten that while she might be frozen in time, everyone else moved on without her. _Everyone_. 

Eventually, she forced herself to stand and place her bag onto her bed from its spot on the floor. Ellen sighed as she looked down into it. Extension charms were so useful for packing, but so completely annoying when it came time to locate everything to unpack. She unzipped the faded duffel bag and stuck her arm in all the way to her shoulder. 

From the bag Ellen pulled the giant enchanted mirror that Albus had gifted her with so many years ago. It was annoying and made snarky comments, but she just couldn't let it go for whatever reason. Albus knew her too well. 

She carried it over to the corner and set it down gently, adjusting it to the right angle. The mirror came to life once stepped away. "Looks like someone needs to update her charms." 

Ellen whipped around and rushed up close to the mirror. It was faint, but she could see the beginnings of a familiar red pentagram showing up on her forehead. 

Such a pain. 

It always took several layers of charms to cover up her hair and scar. The discoloration had been caused by dark matter so it was a constant battle of the leftover matter eating away at the charms faster than she could apply them. These days Ellen just shoved as many as she could manage and hoped that her mirror caught them fading before she did. 

"Thanks," she said, "you always notice before I do." 

"My pleasure, Miss Ellen." 

She rolled her eyes good naturedly. "I've told you a thousand times, you don't need to call me Miss." 

The mirror remained irritatingly silent. Ellen grumbled to herself as she started to pull everything out of the bag. Some of her belongings were drifting way at the bottom, forcing her to almost climb inside of the bag itself to retrieve them. 

Of course, she didn't do that. Getting stuck in the void of an extension charm was a mistake that one did not repeat. 

She hefted all of her Muggle clothing out of the bag without much fanfare. Ellen didn't own any robes anymore, not since she'd left the magical world behind fifteen years ago. Luckily, she'd kept her wand. 

A few short flicks of her wand and muttered spells were all it took to get everything moving. Her clothes were flying all around her folding themselves and organizing into neat stacks. She frowned slightly at the pile sitting on her bed waiting to be put away. She didn't realize that she owned that much black. Old habits did die hard though. 

Setting her wand down on the bed next to the clothes, Ellen walked over to the wardrobe she'd kept from earlier. Knowing her luck, the blasted thing would be full of doxies and she'd have even more of the little monsters sitting around begging for her attention. 

As she approached the wardrobe it began to shake violently. Ellen's eyes widened and she dove for her wand, her scream echoing throughout the house as the boggart leaped out at her. 

* * *

Hermione was sitting in her bed quietly reading up on what little information she had on the Noah when she heard a loud scream from down the hall. The book fell from her hands as she shot up in bed, looking over at Ginny. The pair met eyes and immediately jumped up and rushed out of the room with wands in hand. Whoever had screamed was on their floor. 

Realization filled Hermione with ice water in her veins. How hadn't she realized it earlier? "Ellen's in the room with the boggart." 

She took off towards Ellen's room while Ginny ran down the stairs to where her mother was washing up in the kitchen. Hermione threw open the door and gasped at the sight before her. 

Ellen was on the ground, her wand resting a few feet away from her on top of the bed. Her already pale face was colorless and she was shaking as she stared down the strange man that had stepped out of the wardrobe. 

The man looked like a proper Victorian gentleman with his top hat and thin, well groomed mustache. Everything about him was completely immaculate and it only served to make him that much more unnerving. Sickly golden eyes stared down at Ellen as he stepped closer. 

"You just have to say their names, dear Allen." It cooed at her. "You can have them back. Just say their names." 

Ellen backed away until she hit the foot of her bed, wand completely forgotten. Her eyes flew to where Hermione was standing in the doorway. "You've got to go; it isn't safe here!" 

"Ellen, it's just a boggart," Hermione tried to make her voice as soothing as possible. "You need to grab your wand and you can get rid of it." 

"No, no, no!" Ellen said, her clawed left hand ripping holes in the carpet beneath her. "I have to kill him. He'll kill everyone if I don't." 

The man began to warp before their very eyes. He blew up like a balloon until he was almost cartoonishly round, his face elongated into a wide mouthed grin that sent shivers down her spine. The only thing in common that remained were the glowing yellow eyes so full of madness and hatred. The creature snarled at her and lunged just as Remus burst into the room. " _Riddikulus!_ " 

It turned towards Remus with mad eyes, making to attack him when it suddenly began to deflate as if it was a balloon. The creature flew around the room, crashing into walls before it vanished back into the wardrobe with a loud thud. 

Hermione ran to hold the doors of the wardrobe closed as Remus slowly approached Ellen. She flinched as he gently wrapped his hands around her arms. "Ellen, it was just a boggart. It's gone." 

She looked so small when she looked up at Remus, golden eyes glittering as she threw herself into his arms. The man pulled her close, murmuring comforting words. His hands smoothed over her short hair while she shook and clung to him with everything she had. 

"Thank you, Remus," said Ellen against his chest. "I don't think I like this house very much." 

He chuckled in agreement, letting her hold onto him as Hermione looked on at the scene. There was such a feeling of intimacy surrounding the pair that Hermione felt like she was intruding by being there. This wasn't something that she was meant to see, yet she couldn't look away. 

"Mad-Eye will come remove it tomorrow. Do you want to find another room to sleep tonight?" asked Remus when she finally stepped out of his embrace. 

Ellen shook her head. "I'll be okay. Some sticking charms should keep it shut," She turned to Hermione, a fragile smile on her face that any small movement could have knocked off. "You can leave it alone; I've got it handled." 

Her tone didn't leave any room for Hermione to argue. All she could do was robotically step away from the wardrobe and move towards the door. She hesitated at the door frame, looking back at where Ellen and Remus were standing. Her former teacher gave her a warm smile and a nod, a promise that it would all be okay. She just had to trust him. 

All of the Weasley children were waiting for her in the room when she got back with a million questions that she wasn't sure that she quite had all of the answers to yet. 

It was going to be a long night. 

* * *

"Ellen..." Remus murmured once Hermione had left the room, stepping closer. "What was that?" 

"I – That was – That was the Earl," said Ellen. "That was Adam." 

"It didn't look human." 

The question was clear in Remus's voice. Her half answers weren't going to fly. "But he was. He never liked his real face, it looked too much like his brother. It makes sense that he would be my greatest fear. Not even death can free me from him." 

"You said he was dead." 

"And he is, Remus," said Ellen, pulling away from him. "Doesn't stop him from haunting me." 

His eyes were full of pity. Pity that she didn't want or need. What was his pity going to do for her? It wouldn't stop the shadow of Adam from following her around. It wouldn't free her from the guilt of killing him or the guilt of everything she had done since that fated moment. Remus always looked at her like she was something fragile, something that needed to be protected. 

Ellen was a Noah. She didn't need his protection. 

"I think you need to go," said Ellen. "Like you said, I need my sleep." 

Remus hesitated before he nodded. It would do her some good to get space away from him. He gave a muttered 'goodnight' before he walked out of the door, stopping only once to glance back at her. Ellen stubbornly refused to meet his gaze for fear that she might shatter like the delicate creature he believed she was. 

The door closed with a soft click, but it echoed throughout the room. She took one heaving breath before she collapsed in on herself, falling to her knees. Ellen rubbed her hands against her eyes firmly, trying to force the tears that had refused to fall for the past two hundred years. "I knew coming back here was a mistake," she whispered to herself. "Wizards bring nothing but pain and death. I should have just stayed away." 

She stayed in that spot for what felt like hours. With every breath she stitched herself back together, forcing herself to repair the broken pieces that made up Ellen Walker one more time. 

It had felt so real to see Adam. All it took was one moment of him standing before her and she was suddenly sixteen again and so, _so_ scared that she didn't know what to do, didn't know what was right and what was wrong. But there was only one truth and she had to remember it. 

The Millennium Earl was dead. 

Ellen had killed him herself. On that horrible day filled with so much bloodshed and heartbreak, it had been Ellen that shoved the Sword of Exorcism into the Earl's still beating heart. She'd felt it all as if she _was_ him. She'd felt the rage and the pain of the memory of Adam the moment he died. Every bit the traitor the original Fourteenth had been, she'd succeeded in doing what he failed to do. She'd betrayed the Noah and _won._ The memory of Adam had been so damaged, so shattered by the betrayal that it was almost beyond repair. 

It would be another millennia before the Earl was able to return to the earth, and when he did return, she would be there to kill him again. That was her fated role as the Destruction of Noah. Never again would the Earl bring about ruin to the world. 

But no matter how much she tried to convince herself that it was all over, something in the back of her mind told her to stay on guard; something was telling her that she was being watched even when she was all alone. 

Ellen Walker wasn't the only one out there. The others were still alive. She could feel them in the back of her mind, an ever present tingle. It didn't matter how far she ran or how well she hid, they were still connected. They would still find her one day. 

Not today though. 

She would be better this time. No one was going to die on her watch, no one was going to be betrayed. Even if it took until her last breath, Ellen would be the savior she once believed herself to be. 

* * *

The bright sunlight was what woke her up the next morning. At some point in the night Ellen had fallen asleep on the ground curled up in a ball. She sat up with a groan, her joints cracking obnoxiously as she stretched. The ground hadn't been a comfortable place to sleep when she was younger and much more durable and it still wasn't a good spot now that she was ancient. 

Ellen moved through her morning routine slowly, allowing herself to actually wake up before deciding to risk facing everyone downstairs. There would just be more talk if she hid away in her room like something as simple as a boggart was enough to put her out of commission. 

The kitchen was filled with the sounds and smells of breakfast cooking on the stove top when she made her way down there. Molly was humming to herself as she controlled everything, looking completely in her element, while Sirius was sat at the end of the table with a mug of coffee in hand. 

She quickly filled her own cup of the liquid gold and settled down in the chair next to him, laying her head on his shoulder to snuggle closer to his warmer body. Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. "Moony told me you ran into the boggart upstairs, you okay?" 

"I will be," said Ellen. "Rattled me a bit, that's all." 

"That was the Earl you saw, wasn't it?" 

"Of course it was. What else do I have to be scared of?" 

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by the ruckus of the twins stumbling into the kitchen rubbing the sleep from their eyes. The pair mumbled out a quick good morning to the occupants of the room, collapsing into their chairs in a half asleep slump. 

"Ah, to be young and full of energy," She teased, summoning a cup of coffee for them. "Shouldn't you boys be excited? It's almost time for you to go back to school!" 

A loud groan was the only response that she received. She laughed and went back to leaning against Sirius and quietly drinking her coffee. "Are you excited at least Sirius?" She spoke so softly that only he could hear her. 

Sirius nodded against her again. "I wish I could have him come live here..." 

"What's he like?" She asked. "Is he like them?" 

"The very best of them. He looks just like James, but he has Lily's eyes," Ellen gently squeezed his arm when she heard him get choked up. 

"I wish I had gotten to see him more," Her voice broke slightly. "He was such a small thing when I last saw him and now he's all grown. I feel like if I even blink then you'll all be grown and gone." 

He nudged her playfully. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Who else is going to be your human pillow if I'm not around?" 

"Not fair," she whined and burrowed herself deeper against his side, "You're so warm and I'm always cold." 

"Brilliant witch that you are and you can't even conjure a jacket." Ellen smacked his shoulder lightly. 

"Oh shush." 

Moments later Hermione and Ginny walked into the kitchen looking much more awake than the twins. Ellen nodded a greeting at them, wanting to scream at the cautious look on their faces. It was clear that Hermione had shared what she saw the previous night. 

"Hey," Ellen said. "I'm sorry you had to see that; I should have checked that thing before I just opened it like that." 

"What was that thing?" asked Hermione. 

Ellen sighed and took a deep swig of her coffee. "He was known as the Earl of Millennium, but his name was Adam." 

"I've read about him," Hermione replied, "The Earl was the leader of the Noah though..." 

She trailed off and stared at Ellen who resigned herself to answering. "He was also a complete maniac. Not exactly the kind of person you want leading you. The memory of Adam has always been the worst of us, and it twists the host into something that isn't even human anymore. They always go insane. We all do one day." 

Sirius squeezed her knee comfortingly, but she brushed his hand away. "There's a good reason there aren't many of us left. Noah's memories are strong, and they start to overwhelm you if you aren't careful. Most people end up killing themselves before they've even fully awakened. Not that I blame them, it's a horrifying process if you don't know what's happening." 

"Then what memory are you?" Ginny asked. "How are you still, well, you?" 

"I shouldn't even exist." Ellen drained the last bit of her coffee. "But that's a story for another time." 

Molly scowled slightly at her. "They are children, they don't need to know these things." 

"I was their age when I fought in my first war. They won't be children for much longer," Ellen said. 

"Still, they aren't of age yet and I won't have you filling their heads with that kind of talk." 

"Okay, okay," Ellen relented, "No more talking about the scary creatures. Tell me Molly, what kind of work are you going to have us do today? I know you've got something planned." 

"We've got to keep cleaning the rooms," said Molly primly. "There's a serious infestation of doxies in this place." 

Ellen wrinkled her nose at the thought of it. Cleaning was so _boring_. 

"You know, there's a bit of work I need to do on the Ark," said Ellen. "I'd just be a distraction around here. It'll be better without me, I promise." 

Her pleading must have worked because Molly shook her head in resignation, waving her off. "Be back before dinner. 

She shot up with a grin, walking quickly out of the room before the woman had a chance to change her mind. Ellen could hear the children discussing whatever the Ark could be, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Anything that would get her out of being stuck in dust covered rooms spraying infested curtains was good enough for her. 

Honestly, it was like Molly had actually expected her to stick around for busy work of all things. 

It was simple enough to open the Ark. A quick tug at the air and a gate was rising up out of the ground in her bedroom. Ellen squinted at the bright light surrounding it. She'd forgotten how blinding the gates could be in such a small area. 

She swung the gate door open and slipped inside before anyone could come into her room to inspect the light that was no doubt shining out from underneath the door. The gate slammed loudly behind her and vanished into thin air, leaving her in the unnatural stillness of Noah's Ark. 

No matter how many times Ellen entered the Ark, its sheer presence overwhelmed her. It was beautiful. Bright white buildings and cobblestone paths surrounded the magnificent tower where that the Clan of Noah used to call home. The air was cleaner than anything she had ever experienced, devoid of the smog and fumes that hung heavily in the world outside. The sky had once always, _always_ been a brilliant blue, stretching on as if there was no end to this tiny piece of paradise. Now it was covered dark grey storm clouds, rain falling from them at every hour of the day. 

Here was the place that had once housed all of humanity and seen to its rebirth from the children of Noah. Instead of paradise it was an empty place devoid of the life that once filled every corner, mourning its losses in the same way it's master did. 

Ellen sighed deeply when she looked up at the tower. The gate couldn't have brought her any closer? 

With a lazy wave of her hand she willed the Ark to move her towards it. Everything blurred around her for a moment before she was standing exactly where she wanted to be. The entrance to the vast gardens that surrounded the tower was just as beautiful as every other part of the Ark. 

The garden was as unnaturally still as it always was. Ellen walked through it with light steps, every sound she made reminding her that this was not a place that she belonged in. It was only through her cursed heritage that she was able to step foot in a place as sacred as this garden. 

Shiny white stones marked the path to the center of the garden. There in the middle, right where it always was, sat that damned tree. Ellen hated that tree, hated everything it stood for. Still, at the end of the day it had been the only place that felt right. It was the only place that deserved to have him resting beneath its roots for all of eternity. 

The grass was soft and dry when she sat down at the foot of the tree, just as she expected it would be. Her fingers delicately brushed against the engraved stones nestled in the ground before her. They hadn't changed a bit since the day she'd laid him to rest. 

_'Mana Walker, father and brother_ ' one read. She gently stroked the second one, her throat tightening up. 

Her eyes burned fiercely, yet no tears came to her eyes. Perhaps that was another one of her punishments. Every bit of human grief had dried up in her, leaving her as empty as she'd left the others. This was her penance. 

"I've missed you," said Ellen, her voice cracking. "I don't know how long it's been for the two of you since I last came. It's been fifteen years out there in the real world. I…I never wanted to come back here. There are too many ghosts, even here in this damn garden." 

"I keep expecting to see them. It feels like Rhode is going to swing down from the branches any moment, or Tyki is going to be next to me. I can hear the music even when I'm not playing it. There are so many memories I have of this place. Some of them are mine, but some of them aren't. It hurts, Mana. It hurts so much. My head feels like it's going to split into two any moment now, but it never will. That's what I deserve; I deserve to suffer like this. Neah was a traitor and I ended up being just like him. Would you be disappointed in me, Mana?" Ellen shivered despite the warm temperature of the Ark, the gentle rain soaking her down to her bones. If she listened close enough, she could hear the whispers of the past. Rhode's laughter, the murmur of conversation from the twins, Sheryl and Tyki's ever filled wine glasses clinking together. "You disappointed me. You let him take your mind and your body without a second thought. Did you even fight him? Was I not enough of a reason for you to keep trying?" 

"You always told me to keep on walking. For two hundred years, that's all I've done. I've kept going because that's all I know how to do…But I'm so alone, Mana. Even surrounded by people that care for me, I'm still alone. I'll always be alone without them," She ran a long, black talon down the side of the other tombstone. "I'm so sorry, my little one. I'll come back soon for you." 

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the smaller headstone. There was no doubt in her mind that much more time had passed outside of the Ark than in it, but that's what she had wanted. Even if she hadn't asked for it, the Ark was a part of her, and it knew. It knew that she needed her space away from all of the people waiting for her at Grimmauld Place and in return it gave her that space. 

Her hour on the Ark had most likely been several hours in the outside world. It was probably dark outside in London. Oh, Molly was going to be absolutely furious with her for skipping out on the entire day like that. 

The wicked voice that lived within her whispered for her to stay. Stay inside the Ark, let the rest of the world pass while she remained frozen in time. What would it matter if the earth turned to dust? She wouldn't be there to witness it. She could remain in her paradise, the way that Noah had intended for them to all those millennia ago. 

Ellen shook her head, vanishing those thoughts. She couldn't allow herself to be tempted like that. Even if she was a Noah, she was a human first. She wouldn't abandon humanity in the way that their god had. 

With a wave of her hand, she opened a gate back into Grimmauld Place. The bright light of the gate looked out of place in the garden, so much so that shivers ran down her spine. The tree was watching her and it didn't want her gate in its paradise. Before she could stop herself, Ellen had opened the gate and stepped through without a second thought as to where the gate was. 

* * *

She landed face first on the kitchen with a thud, groaning as she lifted her head up. Sirius was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, his mouth slightly agape as he took in the sight before him. She sighed and closed the gate with a simple motion and sat up on the table. It was surprisingly comfortable, and she was actually taller than Sirius for once. Not too bad. 

"I really need to pay attention to where I'm opening those," said Ellen, rubbing her forehead where it had slammed against the table. "Last time I messed up this bad, I stepped right off the edge of the cliff at Headquarters. That was a bit of a tumble." 

His shoulders shook with his barely suppressed laughter. "Where on earth did we find you?" 

Her grin fell from her face as her vision blurred. For just a moment, she was in a different place. A larger room filled with people rushing about, carrying their food as they tried to get their meals down before they were called out on their next assignment. There was a man with long, straight hair sitting across from her all the same, his face hard to make out through the haze of her memories. He was scowling but there was no real bite to his words, not anymore. 

' _Where did we find you, beansprout?'_

She'd laughed at that, the high collar of her uniform brushing her neck. She had laughed at most of his not-jokes back then. 

Sirius cleared his throat, yanking her back into reality. He looked as if he wanted to reach out to her in concern but hesitated, his hand hovering in the air near her. Ellen blinked hard and shook her head, smiling dimly at him. "Sorry, you just reminded me of someone for a minute." 

That was all she needed to say for Sirius to understand. In all of the years that they had known each other, she'd always been a bit quiet about her past. They knew enough about her and her history with the other Noah, but that was about it. There were times when they would say something, or she'd see something that looked familiar and it was like Ellen wasn't there anymore. She saw ghosts that none of them would ever know the names of, would never know the stories behind. Everything that Ellen considered dear was kept close to her heart. The only moments she would ever truly open up was to admit that she had loved before and in return she'd been forced to watch them crumble away and die before her very eyes. 

In even rarer moments, ones that only existed wrapped in warm bed sheets and underneath stars in the middle of the night, she would admit that she wished she'd been able to die with them. 

For all of the times that Sirius had wished that he and his friends could be immortal in the way that Ellen was, it was easy to see what a curse true immortality was. This tiny girl sitting on the table before him was trapped. She was trapped in a body that would never age, never change. She was trapped in a world that continued to move on while she was firmly rooted in her own moment in time. Ellen had been there before all of them were even a whisper in the wind and she would be there long after they too had turned to dust. 

What a lonely existence the Noah must have. 

As if Ellen could hear his thoughts, she reached out and gripped his still hovering hand in her own. She pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles, rubbing her thumb over the same spot. "These are my demons, Paddy. You have enough of your own without letting mine haunt you too." 

"You used to go to your Ark a lot more," said Sirius. "Back in the war." 

"I thought I was strong enough to handle it back then. All it ever did was break me more," She climbed off of the table and into the chair next to him, cuddling under his arm just as she had that morning. "Is it wrong that I miss them?" 

Sirius wasn't sure who 'they' were in this moment in time. There were too many that she'd left behind. "I think we can't control what our heart feels." 

"My heart is a dirty traitor." 

He pulled her closer. Ellen was shaking under his arm, her face pinched up like she was about to cry yet her eyes remained bone dry. Her face was pressed close against his chest so that she could hear his heart steadily beating. Another strange quirk of hers. 

Ellen had explained to them one night that the Noah could hear each other's heartbeats when they were near. It was their call to each other, letting them know that they weren't alone in the universe. They were all the children of Noah with the same blood pumping in their veins. When she would cuddle up next to them on long nights, she would always press her ear to their chests just as she was right then. It made her feel closer to them, like she belonged with the humans around her instead of the family she'd run away from. It was a hollow imitation of what she so desperately craved, but still it brought her comfort. 

She had always loved Sirius's heartbeat the most. It reminded her of human friends that were long gone, ones that used to hold her close and promise her that they would survive that awful, wicked war together just as Sirius had promised her in those days. 

Ellen rubbed at her tired eyes with a gnarled black fist. She was always so _tired_ after visiting the garden. "Will you carry me up?" 

"Just this once," said Sirius as he stood up so she could climb onto his back. He groaned slightly under her weight and tried to shift her to a more comfortable position. "I'm not as young as I used to be, you know." 

"Now you sound like Albus." Ellen giggled the entire way up the stairs. Every few feet Sirius stopped and complained more, moving her around as if it would magically make her lighter. She bit her tongue to stop herself from reminding him that he was in fact a wizard and could simply cast a Featherlight charm to make this entire journey easier. 

It was nice to have him close to her like this again. During the first war, she'd kept all of them at arm's length for the first couple of weeks that she'd known them. She'd been scared of having the same experience as with her fellow exorcists, but these witches and wizards were different. Sirius especially had seen her for what she was and decided that he didn't care. All he had ever seen whenever he looked at her was a person and that meant more to Ellen than she would ever say to him. 

For all the love that she'd had for Remus, her love for Sirius was different. Ellen had never met another person and felt like she could call him brother. She'd thought so many years ago that another could be her sister, but sisters didn't betray each other. Sisters didn't allow one of them to rot in a cell, to have their choices ripped from their hands. 

No, Sirius was different. 

As he made another joke about how he wasn't going to carry her anymore because he was an old man, Ellen made a decision. She was going to protect her brother this time. Where Neah had failed to keep Mana safe, she would do her best to succeed. After everything that he had been thorough, that was what Sirius deserved. 

Her eyes began to droop during the trek down the hallway. His steady footsteps and the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ear was as good of a lullaby as any she had heard before. Sirius was careful not to jolt her out of her half-awake state when he opened the door to her bedroom. He placed her on the conjured bed gently, ruffling her hair after he pulled up one of the blankets resting at the foot of the bed to cover her. Ellen sleepily smiled at him and snuggled deeper under the soft blanket. She could vaguely hear him telling her that he'd come back to wake her up later before she finally drifted off to sleep. 

For once her dreams were kind to her. Ellen dreamed of times long gone, warm arms wrapped around her and laughter filling the air on sunny spring days while her piano played softly in the background. She wasn't sure where she was, but she was happy and safer than she had been in ages. The light of the sun faded through her window and pulled her back to reality. 

Someone was banging heavily on her door, their knocking getting more insistent by the moment. Who could it possibly be knocking on her door at this hour? A single glance out of the window revealed the moon high up in the sky, few clouds drifting by it. She rose from her bed slowly with her wand held carefully by her side. Every step that she took seemed to echo throughout the room, drowned out only by the increasingly frantic knocking. 

Ellen wrenched open the door at once, startling the man standing before her. Kingsley Shacklebolt lowered his still raised hand and cleared his throat. He at least had the decency to look apologetic as he took in her disheveled state. 

"Something," he said, "Has come up." 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! Please review and let me know how you're all feeling about the direction the rewrite is going in! Or if you're a new reader on AO3, let me know what you think so far.

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! it's gigi from ffn here to bring you the new and improved A Glint of White on a whole new platform! 
> 
> please review and let me know what you think!


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